Realistic New Year’s Resolutions

New Year, New You? Nah, sod that. Here are a few easily keepable New Year’s Resolutions that don’t involve any personal regeneration or metamorphosis (or much effort for that matter…)



A lot of people decide to start something totally new for their New Year’s Resolution. Activities I’ve heard around the office include: white water rafting, slacklining, fire breathing, and brewing Kombucha (and that’s just Jane in accounts). You might have a wild new interest bookmarked yourself. But know you this: all you’re really going to do is buy all the very expensive equipment online, use it once (if that) and then decide that the hobby is just not for you. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks. My suggestion is to find something that you already doing and just keep doing that. Saves you all the hassle and money. Like to run? Keep running. Like to swim? Keep swimming. Like to go down the pub? You get down to that pub, immediately.



A lot of people try and eat healthier by cutting out junk food and the like, which is obviously a very good thing to do. But the sad reality is that at some point in the New Year (very possibly New Year’s Day) you’re going to be extremely hungover and you’re going to be craving something greasy and unhealthy. Broccoli can actually be delicious (contrary to popular belief), but it won’t soothe your aching head like a bit of salt and grease will. So rather than cutting out junk food altogether, cut out something unhealthy that you never really ate much in the first place. For example, I’m cutting out Foie Gras. Not only is it very unethical, it’s also got a staggeringly high fat content. A healthy, and easy, resolution to keep. But seriously, rather than deny yourself the small things, just make sure you spend a little longer exercising if you do have the extra cheesy garlic bread at 2am on a Saturday morning.


This might seem trivial (because the other resolutions were the height of seriousness), but let me take you back to 1996, when I had long harboured dreams of being a famous writer. Thus, my New Year’s Resolution for 1997 was to finally get around to writing the story that had been in the back of my mind for so long. It was about a kid magician, who went off to magic school to learn spells and magic tricks, getting into all sorts of scrapes along the way. Sound familiar? Well, that’s because someone (not naming any names…) had had a very similar idea and finished their book before me. Apparently, it was very popular. Due to my rigid and unflinching adherence to the concept of a ‘New Year’s Resolution’, I hadn’t even started writing my book and potentially lost out on millions.

Obviously this didn’t really happen, but there’s a hard-hitting lesson in this story: Your New Year’s Resolution should be to not bother with New Year’s Resolutions. If you want to better yourself in some way, do it now. Why not take a chance and live in the moment, don’t wait until the New Year.


Kind of makes this whole article pointless doesn’t it…